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Wax

by Aurelia

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Dillon
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    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Alone Instru w Chorus (DEMO), Lonely Instru DEMO, WIRETRAP, OUT4BLOOD, Sinister Things, Wax (The Remixes), Wax (Capshun Remix), Wax, and 1 more. , and , .

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about

The song is very much about being stuck, and being desperate for affection, that stems from both a childhood sexual assault experience (personally) and from rejection of my real character and sexuality. About constantly freezing your own progress for other’s comfort. The wax hardens around the formed character, in the same way one gets ‘stuck’ in their own behaviors.

That was the idea behind the song and the video, that abusive behaviors can manifest and trap you. I was trapped and contorted into a real monster, someone I didn’t want to be, and involved myself in relationships that were completely destructive. It culminated, and 2018 I was hospitalized and diagnosed with PTSD, CPTSD, depression, and was held for being extremely suicidal. I’m healing now, but not brand new. I wanted a video that encapsulated that time period, and I wanted the MV to be horror-esque, to demonstrate how I felt: monstrous. I wanted to talk about how suffocated I was via the abuses I endured, and the ways I tried to constrain myself

I hope you like it, and I hope it helps give language to what you might be feeling.
Yours,
Aurelia

credits

released October 29, 2021
Prod. Aurelia, Sindrum
Written by Aurelia
Mix/Master: Icarus Moth

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Aurelia Brooklyn, New York

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